They Are After A ‘First’
Picture: “Bize Bir Yasa Lazım” / “We Need A Law”
Original article by Nagehan Akarsel, translation by Vildan Seçkiner
They identify themselves as the “marginal of the marginal” because of the pressure and discrimination that they suffer.
It is seen as a big problem by the society, the cohabitation of homosexuals, that are sometimes disclaimed even by their mothers, fathers and siblings; the victims of hate crimes, that the people can’t even stand seeing them walking on the street. Aras and Barış, who struggle to live in such a reality, are in preparation of leading the way in Turkey getting married to each other.
‘You are one of the most beautiful friendships I’ve ever made’
Barış Sulu was born in 1978, in Nazilli, and Aras Güngör in 1983, in Ankara. Barış, who mentions that he is a part of homosexual-bisexual, travestite and transexual movement since 1998, tells that he is working professionally in Kaos GL since 2008 and is a volunteer of Pembe Hayat. Barış tells the way he met Aras as follows: “I met Aras in May, 2009. The activities of The Meeting Against Homophobia and Transphobia were going on in Ankara, and I was about to leave the office of Kaos GL in order to participate in the activities. Just then, the bell rang. It was Aras at the door and he had came to get some information. I told him that I was very busy and I was about to go to Ekin Art Center. Then we walked to Ekin Art Center together. That was how we met for the first time. Then, he kept coming to Kaos insistently, and helped for the works; transcribed the interviews and hosted people. Later, he decided to go on doing these works in Pembe Hayat. In this process, our friendship developed as well. Once in 2009 I remember that he said ‘You are one of the most beautiful friendships I’ve ever made’. Then, in November 2010 we found ourselves in a relationship. We have been together for 4 months.”
In a time that their right of living hangs by a thread, Barış tells the decision of making a homosexual marriage in such difficulties: “There is no priority of rights for us. There is nothing like ‘first this right should be granted, then let’s deal with that one’. As heterosexuals do, homosexuals should be able to cohabit, marry and get benefit from many rights too”. Barış, who mentions that they ask themselves continuously if marriage is a right or not, states that first of all they want homosexual marriage to get opened up for discussion, and secondly trans-identities to get discussed. Barış says “in this country there are trans-identities. Not just trans-women but also trans-men exist. We want it to be seen. Then we want it to get opened up for a discussion in terms of the rights. We want to initiate the discussion about why they don’t have the rights that hetero-couples have, at a point that two people love each other and touch each other’s lives”.
Aras mentions too that the main reason why they bring the issue of marriage forward is the demand for equalization of rights. Aras, who states that they question the issues such as womanhood, manhood and marriage says: “We have problems about the meanings attributed to this concepts. We think that these concepts should get redefined. However, if some can use this right, LGBTT couples should be able to do so. That’s all of our purpose. We want to raise an awareness about it, or, there is something like that: with my lover, the one I have been together for 10 years, I want to have rights about the properties that we owned together. I want to accompany my lover at the hospital when something happens to him. I want it to be asked to my lover about the permission for the donation of my organs when I die; because he is my family. But these are directly ignored because we can’t get married. However, till the issue of the consent of my partner about organ donation, I can’t even take part in his funeral. Likewise about the right of inheritance; when I die, my partner should surely benefit from the properties that we owned together. Or, when of the partners is jailed, the system prevents you from seeing your lover in a moment that you both need each other mostly, since it ignores your relationship. This is a sort of violation of rights, and there are many other types of injustice for LGBTT individuals in many legal cases that we don’t mention here. These should be get equalized. This is a very clear demand.”
Aras, who is a trans-man, says: “In addition, trans-men are already ignored, and there is a perception of trans individuals to be heterosexual. If you were about to love a man, then why did you need to become a ‘man’? It is not the person in my life that determines my gender. What matters actually is the way I feel and the way I express myself. My gender and my sexual orientation are not determined when I am with a partner. This is already the situation that I am in, something I already carry since my childhood. It goes also for the trans-individuals. My trans-identity is not something that exists in terms of my relationship with someone. I’ve known my trans-identity since I was 5 years old. And I, with a male existence, can love another man. No one can identify me on someone else; only I can identify myself based on my own existence”. After mentioning that sexual orientations are defined as homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual in the data of World Health Organization, Barış points out the incorrect perspective in society saying: “We live in a society where trans-men are considered heterosexuals. Trans-individuals can be gay or bisexual too, it is as simple as that. As a biological man can be homosexual or bisexual, trans men and trans women can be homosexual or bisexual too, in fact it is not very confusing”.
‘We will benefit from the legal gap’
Nobody can develop an exploitive moral on the labor of others…
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