Coming Out Journal

‘Hi :)’

Submitted by wickedrest

My name is Santos Antonio Cedric Ruiz Rodriguez III. I’m 17 years old. I was born on the 14th of September of 1995 in Jacksonville, Florida on the Naval Air Station Base. My parents are both bi-racial making me multiracial. My dad served in the Navy and is Puerto Rican and Taino Indian. My mom serves as a correctional guard at Florida State Prison in Starke, Florida and is African-American and Cherokee Indian. I’m also bilingual. I speak both English and Spanish. I love foreign languages and I have a passion for martial arts. I was raised in Jacksonville, Florida where I attended John E. Ford K-8 Spanish Immersion. In the 5th grade, I moved to Raiford, Florida where I attended Lake Butler Middle School. I participated in a program to take my 6th and 7th grade at the same time through Florida Virtual School. In the 8th grade, I applied to Stanton College Preparatory School in Jacksonville, Florida and was accepted. Upon entering Stanton, I was unprepared for the academic rigor of an International Baccalaureate Programme. I was living with my uncle at the time, but he was working two jobs and hardly was home. I was feeding myself and pretty much living on my own. I got very involved in school activities insofar that I was staying after school Tuesday through Thursday catching a city bus to my older brother’s house. After arriving there I was then taken to my uncle’s home. This went on for about a semester and one day I just cracked. I went to my AP World History teacher literally crying because I was stressed and overwhelmed with grief about family issues, but also the academic rigor.

‘Hating Myself’

Submitted by digitaljournalofagayteen

I don’t think people realize the words they say have a huge impact on the people listening. Today I realized how much other people have made me hate who I am. Not even who I fully am as a person but just one little detail. The detail that I am gay. It is like I am brainwashed to believe that being gay is something terrible. I hear jokes and straight guys joking around about it with each other. They act like it’s something to have laughs about but it isn’t. They don’t understand how sad it is to not be openly accepted by everyone. They don’t understand that coming into this world, just because I am gay, I am automatically judged by something I can not help. I am done lying to myself that I am gay. I’ve spent to many years lying to myself that it is so hard to get out of that black hole. But I am not to fully blame myself because other people haven’t helped. I am only ashamed of myself because of the things I’ve heard in school or even by my own family. I am no longer the free person I was when I was younger and now I’m just trying to get back to the true me. The real me. Not the fake person I tried so hard to be for many years because it was easier then being judged. I will try very hard to not hate myself anymore from now on.

Personally, I can relate to this a lot, honestly.

1 month ago · 14 notes

Levi's Adventures of a Nerd: My Coming Out Story

Saw this on Huffington Post Gay Voices, decided to reblog from the original source:

adventuresofanerd:

As you should all know by this point, I’m gay. There, I said it. I’m gay.

As you have all known for a long time, so have a number of people in my friends and family, but it wasn’t until this past week (with all the equality hub-bub and posts) that I announced my sexuality on Facebook. Not that everyone didn’t know or assume that I was gay, but I never had posted that I was before. After seeing all the posts, pictures, and just general support from my friends and allies, I impulsively made a thank you post, and I never thought about who would be seeing it.

Here’s that:

So I went to bed, and the next day I got picked up by my parents so that I could go home for Easter. When my dad arrived, it was just tense, but I didn’t really think anything of it, because he’s always stressed when he comes down to Milwaukee to pick me up.

When we got home, my dad left for a bit to pick up some dinner for us, and my mom (who I’ve been out to for almost two years) turns to me, and says, “Your father saw your Facebook status when I left my Facebook up. The cat’s out of the bag.” You see, I hadn’t told him. Coming out to my mom was easy, but the concept, the thought, of coming out to my father terrified me beyond all other things. I was afraid he’d disown me, or be ashamed of who I was.

My obvious response to this news was, “Oh, how’d he take it?” and she said he wasn’t too happy - mostly disappointed, and kind of hurt from what I gathered. He even had the gall to say that if I wasn’t in theatre I wouldn’t have ended up gay because it wouldn’t have seemed so normal. My dad has never been open minded on the topic, and I know he was praying that I wouldn’t be gay.

When he got back from the store we didn’t talk about it, and we went on being polite the whole weekend, but dodging the issue if the conversation even skirted close to the topic of sexuality. It was pretty stressful for me, but I didn’t want to talk about my sexuality with my father anymore than he wanted to talk about it with me - which was good.

On Sunday my parents dropped me off at the train station, and I boarded to get back to Milwaukee. They both hugged me and told me they loved me.

About three hours later I was back home in Milwaukee, and I got a text from my mom that read, “Your dad has funny ways of showing he loves you. Look in your backpack.”

Here’s what was tucked inside, between two Pathfinder rule books:

On the back it says, “I will always love you, no matter what.”

1 month ago · 161 notes · Reblogged from adventuresofanerd

Submitted by thevoicesproject :

Growing up, coming out and learning to speak THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE.

THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

‘The aim was to pick up chicks by sounding like a Frenchman. Hasn’t really worked out yet.

In THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE 17 year old Charlie struggles to find the words to be true to himself…and his best friend.

A wry, delicate take on first love and awakening sexuality from a young man’s perspective, THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE is written and performed by Kim Ho, under the mentorship of leading Australian playwright Tommy Murphy, and directed by Laura Scrivano, for The Voices Project from the Australian Theatre for Young People (atyp)

Don’t miss this folks. This is a must-watch.

1 month ago · 184 notes · Source

Some may feel that it is possible to love a person and not accept that he or she is gay. I don’t think so. Loving a person means loving a whole person. We don’t get to pick and choose the parts. Sure, we can hate the fact that someone is always 20 minutes late, or be infuriated about a 15-year-old’s new nose ring. But those aren’t defining characteristics. Our orientation is a fundamental part of who we are. Loving someone but hating the fact that he or she is gay would be like loving someone but hating the fact that he or she has arms or legs.

And what about those parents who do “accept” and “tolerate” their gay children? I guess that’s better than it could be. They’re better parents than those who throw their children out of the house or abuse them for being gay. But does any kid deserve to settle for mere acceptance or tolerance from his or her parents? Words like “accept” and “tolerate” do not indicate good things; in the context of homosexuality, they imply that there is something wrong with being gay that parents have to put up with. That is not a good message.

Every child deserves to be loved for exactly who they are, so I think it’s about time that we change how we talk about our gay children. Let’s abolish the words “accept” and “tolerate” and replace them with “cherish” and “celebrate.” When we cherish and celebrate who our children are, then maybe the scared gay kids in this country will stop worrying about whether their parents will “still” love them and will simply know they are loved unconditionally.

— By Amelia, Huffington Post Blogger, from the piece titled “’Accept’ and ‘Tolerate’ My Gay Kid? That’s Not Good Enough”. Click here to read the full piece.

1 month ago · 166 notes · Source

1 month ago · 154,508 notes · Reblogged from jazled

buzzfeedlgbt:

Time Magazine Same Sex Marriage Cover

1 month ago · 1,642 notes · Reblogged from buzzfeedlgbt

Heard on the Subway: Talking about your gay son.

rafi-dangelo:

I was on my way to work, zoned out listening to some old school Shania Twain to get my life right, when two construction worker types got on the train at Penn Station. They were both middle-aged white guys with Long Island accents, mustaches, dirty jeans — the type of guys you’d expect to see on a building site. I caught a piece of their conversation when the music died before the song changed, and I decided to record them.

Normally, boring people and their boring conversations don’t interest me in the least, but the music dropped out right when Guy #1 said “My wife wants me to get fixed like a dog but I don’t see why she can’t just keep taking the pill.” That in itself isn’t inherently interesting, but the fact that he was openly discussing it on a public subway train made me hit the record button real quick to see what else would come out. I’ve been doing this for about 6 months now, trying to catch interesting things on the subway, but I haven’t had any luck so far because I ride boring trains.

Today was good though.

Guy #2: No more kids for you two?
Guy #1: No, she figures we’re both getting too old for a baby.
Guy #2: How is your boy anyway? Haven’t seen him in awhile.
Guy #1: Oh John’s good, pitching this year varsity.
Guy #2: He’ll definitely have the girls hanging around him now.
Guy #1: Yeah if he had any time for them.
Guy #2: Focused on baseball?
Guy #1: Focused on boys.
Guy #2: You’re shittin me!
Guy #1: I kid you not. Came out to me and Mary Ann bold as daylight last year.
Guy #2: Well I’ll be damned! I’m not supposed to know it but I overheard Patrick Junior tell his sister he might be gay not two months ago.
Guy #1: We all saw that coming though.
Guy #2: You’re the second person to say that. How’d everybody see it but me?
Guy #1: It was just a feelin Pat. He was always a little soft, ya know?
Guy #2: I guess you’re right. But damn Charlie, we both have gay kids. What do we do now? Both our sons are gay.
Guy #1: We don’t do anything. We let em be gay and if some kid calls em a faggot we go to their house and raise hell with the parents like normal.
Guy #2: Well I guess John and Lucinda won’t be getting together like we thought awhile ago.
Guy #1: Guess not.
**long pause**
Guy #2: Hey Charlie, you thinkin what I’m thinkin?
Guy #1: I was for about half a second then it got weird and I started thinkin about somethin else instead.

2 months ago · 7,121 notes · Reblogged from rafi-dangelo

The best dad award goes to…

After overhearing his son’s coming out discussion on phone, this dad responded with this heartfelt and touching note.

2 months ago · 497 notes · Source

Jason & Tony

The first gay wedding ever at The Plaza Hotel, the iconic jewel at the base of New York City’s Central Park.

3 months ago · 211 notes