2 months ago · 705 notes · Reblogged from parentsproject

Anonymous asked: “So, I like girls in a romantic and sexual way, but I like boys in a romantic way only. What us that called?”

Romantic orientation and sexual orientation are considered district and each refers to relevant attractions only. So,

If you are attracted to multiple sexes or genders romantically, it is called biromantic or panromantic.

If you are attracted to same-sex in sexual way, then it is homosexuality (colloquially known as “gay”, and often “lesbian” for women).

For more, please refer to links I provided on AVENwiki:

2 months ago · 10 notes

Anonymous asked: “I'm a 13 year old pansexual girl. everyone at school knows (but they see it as bi). my parents don't know and they would disown me if they did know. the problem is that I think I as born the wrong gender. I want to be a guy, but at the same time I don't. It would change everything and my parents would hate me. everyone at school would be freaked out. I'm not sure what to do.”

Hello anon,

Please, just please, do not rush on any labels, actually anything related to your sexuality and gender identity. I do not mean you cannot be both transgender and pansexual at the same time, which is surely possible, and yay in any case, but just do not rush to call it a name, as many do this mistake. If you do believe you were born with wrong gender, it is always better to talk to someone, just to clarify and see what can be done.

Here is meaning of transgender according to APA:

Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth. Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of being male, female or something else; gender expression refers to the way a person communicates gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, hairstyles, voice or body characteristics. “Trans” is sometimes used as shorthand for “transgender.” While transgender is generally a good term to use, not everyone whose appearance or behavior is gender-nonconforming will identify as a transgender person. The ways that transgender people are talked about in popular culture, academia and science are constantly changing, particularly as individuals’ awareness, knowledge and openness about transgender people and their experiences grow.

I will strongly suggest you to consult a local LGBTQ* organization where you can not only learn more and get rid of confusion, if any, but also meet with similar people like you and what they have experienced. After you make your mind, you can consider whether to share it with your parents or not, but remember that your safety comes first so please decide accordingly.

Hope this helps.

3 months ago · 2 notes

Question by anonymous

I feel so confused. I like girls, and I think Im a lesbian. Im okay with that, but then sometimes I convince myself I couldn’t possibly be gay. Not me. In my clearest moment gay feels like the right label, but its so easy to end up with muddled thoughts. I feel like while surrounded by heterosexual images in a world of heterosexual privileges Ive lost myself. I cant sort out what I feel from what Society wants me to feel. Can I still identify as bi if I’ve never dated girls before (I’m a girl) I’ve only ever had 2 boyfriends and i’m in a long term relationship with one right now, but I’ve been attracted to all genders since I was a kid. I feel like I’m not a “real” bisexual person since I’ve only been in heterosexual relationships before…

Hello anon,

We are indeed surrounded by heterosexual images, everywhere, even in a way it is seen normal, regardless how “far” it may go but it is unacceptable by some when it is same-sex, but the thing is, this is nor the first time neither the last one we see things happening that way. There will be people who will support equal rights for LGBTQ* individuals while other will find an excuse to be against it, and all we must do is to continue fighting and changing it. Just do not let anyone to tell you how you should feel or do not let it affect you.

When it comes to labels, again go with the label you feel most comfortable with. There is no “real” + label phrase, you first should understand. It is about how you feel and who you are attracted to, not your previous relationships. If you are attracted to all, then yay bisexual, if you can say you do not even see genders, then yay pansexual. There is no experience requirement to satisfy before choosing a label to identify your sexuality/sexual orientation. And the answer to your question, obviously, is yes.

Hope this helps.

4 months ago · 5 notes

4 months ago · 18 notes

Anonymous asked: “Um hi I just wanted to ask for a little advice.. So I've considered myself straight up until recently, I've really been finding girls a lot more attractive (I'm a girl) but um boys are great too. The question is does this mean I'm bisexual? I'm really not sure how to know like girls are super cute and attractive and gah but I love the feeling around boys too.. How do you know? I'm really confused, I need help”

Hello anon,

Probably yes, but the true answer lies within you. If you have attractions to both in similar ways (both emotional and physical), then yes, otherwise, think about the differences: are you attracted to boys in the same way and can you see yourself with a boy or a girl in a relationship? You can ask many questions like this to clarify things for yourself, but just do not stuck on finding a label, as it will do no help.

Hope this helps.

4 months ago · 3 notes

Anonymous asked: “So for the past few months I've said that I am pansexual and for even longer then that I've known that I'm not straight. I'm out to most of my friends, and not my parents, and I've put more thought into it and I think I'm gay, because I definitely like girls way more then guys, like 90% girls, 10% guys, but I don't know if I should still say that I'm pan, or if I should go with gay, which is a lot easier for people to understand then pan. Would some LGBT people get mad if I said I was gay?”

Hello anon,

The pansexual is used when the individual states that gender has no role on their attractions, i.e. they do not “see” gender of a person, where in your case, it does not seem that way. So, it sounds like it would be better to choose between bisexual and gay, and that decision is totally up to you.

And no, as long as you do respect the definition of the labels and do not use them in a harmful way, there is no reason for anyone to get mad, at the end, you should go with the word you feel most comfortable with.

Hope this helps.

4 months ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “Hey. Me and my mum were talking about gay rights the other day and she asked me if I was gay. (I'm a guy) Being the closeted gay I am, I denied it. She told me that it was good that I wasn't gay but also added that if I was gay she would try to help me change. She thinks she could change me. Any advice on how, when I come out to explain that she can't change me?”

Hello anon,

I am sorry to hear your mother thinks that way but it is actually more common then you think. The problem is people to see homosexuality as a disease that can be treated or a choice that can be altered, where they also fail to explain on thing: if homosexuality, being just one of the sexual orientations, is seen as something to or can be changed, how come heterosexuality, again being another sexual orientation, is not seen the same way? This is where they fail.

The thing is, you can explain your mother that homosexuality is as normal as heterosexuality, that cannot be changed and was never a choice. If she wants to change something, that should be her view on the issue, not who you are.

There have been actually people who claimed they can “treat” and “convert” gay individuals, however not only they failed in a great level but also caused many of those to lose their lives due to suicide.

Your mother should love you no matter what, and if you explain all these in a calm way, I am sure she will understand. Also you can get help from local LGBT organizations or PFLAG if available.

Hope this helps.

7 months ago · 16 notes

Anonymous asked: “I'm a bi girl and my friends & family are making jokes about people being gay and bi all the time. A few of them even said that being bi/gay isn't even 'normal' and is 'weird and unnatural'. So I'm stuck about how I'm going to tell them.”

Hello anon,

In such circumstances, I found out a little questioning and explanation mostly work out well. I have also experienced some of my friends claiming being gay was “unnatural” where they were like “sorry, we did not know that”. The thing is, most people seem to be able to joke about it based on stereotypes and etc. until someone they know comes out. As they know that person is perfectly normal and natural, this forces some people to question their prejudice. In addition, claiming being gay or bisexual as “weird and unnatural” would suggest that any sexual orientation to be weird and unnatural, including heterosexuality, so yay logic for proving all sexual orientations, from homosexuality to heterosexuality, bisexuality, the whole spectrum, to be perfectly normal and natural (I am not even mentioning homosexuality has been observed in nature as well). So that’s one thing: if you ever face such claim, just question them back.

Another deal here is that you must be careful about the impact of reaction you might get after coming out, as your safety is a top priority and if there is such a case it might jeopardize your situation, then consider postponing coming out or have a backup plan to be ready for worst-case scenario.

Hope this helps.

8 months ago · 6 notes

Anonymous asked: “I'm a girl and have always called myself straight but have always been attracted to other women as well. It's always sexual attraction, though; I have never had romantic feelings for another woman. I don't think I ever really will since I am in a committed LTR with a male partner. I don't know whether this means that I am bisexual or not. Can you help me?”

Hello anon,

The thing is, just a sexual attraction to both genders does not imply you are bisexuals, as the definition also needs an emotional connection to exist as well. However, the question is what do you really need help on: if it is the “label” you are looking for, well I cannot really help. I mean, not that I would not like to but the whole label deal is so restricting that even the existing ones merely spans what the spectrum of sexual orientation actually has.

So if you are in a relationship with a person you love, it is all that matters. Just because you might be bisexual or whatever the label is does not mean you will suddenly stop loving your partner and look for someone else. So all I can suggest is to enjoy your relationship and if you ever find yourself getting attracted to a woman both sexually and emotionally, embrace it. That’s all, really.

Hope this helps.

8 months ago · 5 notes