Anonymous asked: “I am a 14 year old girl. I've never been with a girl, and my experience with guys is incredibly limited. But, for a long time, like a REALLY long time, I've wondered about my sexuality. I definitely like boys, but have had a crush on a girl here and there. However when I think of the future, I only see myself with a guy. I'm wondering if my crushes on girls are just curiosity, or if I'm bisexual. I know labels are just labels but I'm confused and if you could help me out id appreciate it thanks!”

Hello anon,

Well, you are the source of the answer. You just need to be honest to yourself and explore your sexuality. Ask yourself whether you see yourself with only guys in future because your attraction for boys differ from girls or is it because you have not truly let yourself fully explore your attractions. Please remember that it is not about the amount of experience you have with specific gender but rather who you fall for and how your attractions differ from one to another and what is the role it plays. You will eventually discover and clear it out, but you need to be honest to yourself and you should not rush to find a label.

You can check posts tagged with sexuality to find more questions previously answered here.

Best wishes.

2 days ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “Hey okay like some of my friends are bisexual and lesbian and i feel like i might be bisexual but i'm not sure and when i try to bring it up to my parents they don't take it seriously and i'm afraid to tell them straight up what do i do? and my friend says she wants me to be bisexual also because shes lonely and i'm kinda thinking about it but like idk.”

Hello anon,

First of all, let’s clarify this: you do not become bisexual. You just cannot. You can not wake up one day and say “hey, today I feel like being bisexual”, or you cannot be like “aww, I will be bisexual for you, hang on a second” just because your friend “asks” for it.

If you feel like there is more to explore on your sexuality, then do so, and observe your attractions and see who you fall for, how your feelings differ. Eventually, you will discover it fully and then you can go with the label that you want. Do not rush coming out or finding a label.

Oh, also, you cannot expect to be taken serious when you do not take yourself serious. You should give yourself time to do above first so that you can then consider how to come out, with respect to what you have found about yourself.

Hope this helps.

1 week ago · 3 notes

Anonymous asked: “I'm a girl and I can't tell if I'm lesbian or bisexual. I think I'm lesbian but I don't want to tell people that because what if sometime in the future I date a guy (I can't see this happening but maybe)? Then people will say that I lied. But I also don't want to tell people I'm bi because most people I know don't think it's a real thing and that I just want attention. But either way I really want to come out I just don't know what to say.”

Hello anon,

This is not just the case for bisexuality to be honest. There are still people thinking “anything” but heterosexuality as craving for attention. If you consider dating a guy, is it because you are unsure or is it because you also have attractions to guys in the same way you have attractions for girls? This uncertainty can only be clarified by you and it needs you to be open to yourself and honesty. 

Do not rush coming out or finding a label. If you are lesbian, then yay. No one knows who we might be attracted to, regardless of their gender, so there might be that special person to encounter and fall for in future, but such exception does not mean you are bisexual either. If you find out you are attracted to more than just girls, then there is more to explore, though.

Hope this helps.

3 weeks ago · 7 notes

Anonymous asked: “okay I'm really trying to find myself and I'm not saying that I am realizing this year or anytime soon. but I just wanted some advice okay. i seem to find boys (not mostly in my school, but probably more social media) I seem to find them cute/hot but when I see myself later on in a relationship I don't see me kissing boys. I don't know if it's because I watch lesbian youtubers and I read a lot of fanfic but I just wanted your opinion on what do you think I'm going through”

Hello anon,

Finding someone cute is really different than being attracted to someone, first and foremost. I mean, I can still find a girl pretty although I am gay, and I do, to make it clear.

Secondly, reading a fanfic or watching lesbian youtubers have no influence on your sexual orientation, as in the same way we should have all been straight given that we watch a stereotypical rom-com time to time.

So give yourself time and be open to yourself; explore your attractions and see who you fall for, and eventually you will discover. Do not rush to find a label, as it does no help at all.

Hope this helps. 

3 weeks ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “Hi! I was hoping I could find some advice... See, I've the feeling that I'm bi, and I have been for a while. And that I am now beginning to come to terms with it. (I'm only a young teenager, and I've been this way for a while, I'm only now realizing.) I was wondering, if you had any advice on how to confirm weather I am truly bisexual or not. Because I've been thinking about it to much lately, and I am having a hard time finding advice from the people around me.. Thanks a ton. ^_^”

Hello anon,

Here is the thing: only YOU can “confirm” whether you are bisexual or not. And to be honest, what is “truly” bisexual, who is “truly” bisexual? There is no strict definition of any sexuality, so just be honest to yourself and fall for whoever you fall for, without trying to fit to a label. 

I know the need to have something to call ourselves, give a name to something we are confused about, but actually the best thing is just to go with it, no need to being stuck on formal definitions. 

If you are attracted to same gender of your and also other genders, than yay, by that definition you are bisexual. If gender has no role on your attractions, that is you really do not see the gender at all, than pansexual is the term to define it. Maybe there is more, there is less, it does not matter, just be who you are and be honest to yourself.

Hope this helps.

1 month ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “Hey. Me and my mum were talking about gay rights the other day and she asked me if I was gay. (I'm a guy) Being the closeted gay I am, I denied it. She told me that it was good that I wasn't gay but also added that if I was gay she would try to help me change. She thinks she could change me. Any advice on how, when I come out to explain that she can't change me?”

Hello anon,

I am sorry to hear your mother thinks that way but it is actually more common then you think. The problem is people to see homosexuality as a disease that can be treated or a choice that can be altered, where they also fail to explain on thing: if homosexuality, being just one of the sexual orientations, is seen as something to or can be changed, how come heterosexuality, again being another sexual orientation, is not seen the same way? This is where they fail.

The thing is, you can explain your mother that homosexuality is as normal as heterosexuality, that cannot be changed and was never a choice. If she wants to change something, that should be her view on the issue, not who you are.

There have been actually people who claimed they can “treat” and “convert” gay individuals, however not only they failed in a great level but also caused many of those to lose their lives due to suicide.

Your mother should love you no matter what, and if you explain all these in a calm way, I am sure she will understand. Also you can get help from local LGBT organizations or PFLAG if available.

Hope this helps.

2 months ago · 16 notes

Question by anonymous

Hello, I recently came out to my dad. He was very supportive but surprised. He is concerned now because he feels ill-prepared to guide a gay son through the problems I will in all likelihood face. I knew it would be a shock for him, but tonight he asked me (a week after I told him) how I really knew that I’m gay. I told him I’ve never felt the feelings he feels for women, that I feel more like friends with women. I have tried to be cautious about using sexual language with him because I didn’t want to make him feel too uncomfortable all too soon. After trying to explain that I like men like he likes women, he still asked, “we’ll if you haven’t had any relations with a man, then how can you be sure?” It’s true, I’ve never had a relationship or any physical affection with another man, but how can I explain to my dad that I really am gay without having had these experiences? In other words, how can I explain that I’m attracted to men if there’s never been any “proof”? Thanks

Hello anon,

Believe me, this is one of the most common reactions, and personally, I prefer to ask the same thing in return. The thing is, when someone asks such question e.g. “How are you sure about being gay if you haven’t had any relationship with men/women?”, that person should realize that this question then applies to any sexual orientation, including heterosexuality. So simply, you can ask your father how he was sure he was straight without having any relationship with men. I mean, according to such approach of your father’s, it might suggest that he might be bisexual, as he has not had any relationship with men so he does not fully know his sexuality. Such questioning will probably make him realize how simple the answer and reason is.

We do not need to have a relationship with someone from any gender to confirm our sexual orientation, as we simply know it. Our attractions, feelings and emotions are clear enough to realize it, most of the time at least, and we just know it. Why would you have to have a relationship with a man to ensure your homosexuality, where you know you are attracted to men, not women?

Those are generic questions but I do not really blame your father. My experiences showed me many people simply do not know anything and sometimes are asking such questions as they have never need to question their sexuality, as it was shown and taught as the “normal” one to them, so expect such questions and handle them calmly.

I hope this helps,

Best wishes.

3 months ago · 6 notes

3 months ago · 47 notes

Anonymous asked: “So from what I've heard, most people just seem to know their sexuality. I don't seem to know mine. I'm a female; and I'm romantically attracted to men but sexually attracted to women. Because of the way I've been raised, there's no one I can talk to and my family doesn't respect the lgbtq community. I honestly just don't know what to do”

Hello anon,

The way you were raised might be the issue of you restricting yourself so you need to get over that first. Be open to yourself and give yourself time, without forcing yourself to have any attraction to figure it out. It is also possible you haven’t met the right person, as I have heard so many cases in that way, too, so just give yourself time and be honest about your feelings and you will find out who you fall for. Do not look for labels to fit yourself ever as it will make no help.

I hope this helps,

Best wishes.

3 months ago · 3 notes

Anonymous asked: “I think that I'm sexually attracted to only girls but emotionally attracted to only boys. It's weird because I always fall for guys but I can't think about doing anything with them except kissing them. With girls it's the opposite and I don't know if this is just something in my head because I havnt always been like this. And I don't know how it will be possible for me to have a relationship like this but I don't know how to change it. Is this normal?”

Hello anon,

It is all normal and it all sounds like you are just questioning your sexuality. Do not force yourself to have attraction towards anyone, as it will not work. Just be honest to yourself and see who you fall for, explore your sexuality, and you will clarify your feelings and attractions eventually.

Best wishes.

3 months ago · 4 notes