1 week ago · 22,289 notes · Reblogged from mmmerlenoir

Anonymous asked: “I'm a sixteen year old girl, and I'm utterly confused about my sexual orientation. I had crushes on boys when I was a child, but I developed a crush on a girl when I was twelve and we kissed at a party. Since then, I've had several girlfriends. I've also gone from identifying as bisexual, straight, and a lesbian. Now I'm just confused, since I truthfully feel attraction to males, even if most of them are anime characters. Do I just have a preference for women? Should I spend so much time looking”

First of all, stop rushing yourself time to find a label. Just see who you fall for, who you are attracted, role of gender on your attractions and you will eventually figure out. See if your attraction to anime characters are due their physical attributes or characters. Just explore your sexuality anon.

2 months ago · 2 notes

Anonymous asked: “Hello :) I'm a girl and I'm 15. It's been 5years that I think I have feelings for girls and at the same time I can't give up to boys... I'm probably bisexual. But I can't be sure... How can I be SURE that I'm bi?! Please, help. (Sorry for the faults, i'm French) :)”

You just need to explore your sexuality and see who you fall for, see if gender has a role on your attractions. Do not restrict yourself with labels but rather go with your feelings and you can then go with any label you feel most comfortable with.

P.S. You do not have to give up on anyone, for sure, and why try to limit yourself with any label? :)

2 months ago · 0 notes

Anonymous asked: “I'm really confused about my sexuality. I'm only 14 (I'm a girl also) and have never been in a relationship before. I only started to explore the possibility that I might like girls as well as guys last year. I'm not really interested in anyone from my school, but in the past I have had crushes on guys all my life until I was 12 and I had my first crush on a girl. I find both guys and girls to be physically attractive. I just don't know which gender(s) I'm looking to date eventually.”

Maybe gender does not even have a role your attractions then? Maybe you just do not even see it? So do not restrict yourself with any label and go explore your feelings and attractions, see who you fall for, who you find attractive. You will eventually figure it out, anon.

2 months ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “hi :) I was wondering if you had a strategies for a confused little teenager trying to decipher her sexuality. i don't think im straight. maybe bi or lesbian? anything you could tell me would help. thanks so much :D”

It is you who is to find it out, honestly. Strategy is to not rush finding a label and give yourself time to explore your sexuality. Yes you might be lesbian, bisexual or maybe pansexual, too? Do not restrict yourself with labels whilst  figuring out your sexuality. Go with your feelings, see who you fall for, who you find attractive, romantically and sexually, see if gender has a role on your attractions. Eventually you will figure it out and you can then go with the label you feel most comfortable with.

Hope this helps and good luck! :)

2 months ago · 0 notes

Anonymous asked: “I am seeking advice...I have considered myself straight and maybe a little bi-curious most of my life but when I started college this year I really fell for a woman and then starting thinking that I might be bi. But since I am still really questioning it all, I am not ready to pin a label on it yet. I know my parents would be totally accepting about anything, but idk if I should wait to "come out" to them until I have really figured out "what" I am? Or just tell them that I'm figuring it out?”

You do not really have to tell them anything, as I believe it would put another source of stress on your shoulders. Just give yourself time and explore your sexuality, and never worry about labels. Many do rush to find a label and then change their mind, so just go with your feelings, see who you find attractive, see who you fall for, see role of gender on your attractions. You will eventually figure it out and then you can consider coming out.

2 months ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “I wanted to ask for advice about coming out to my family as genderqueer? They are pretty accepting however when I was younger (like 8-9ish) and told my mum that I didn't want to be a girl she told me to stop talking nonsense and 'get a grip'”

It might be because they thought you were “too young” to say such thing, we know many believe so, and if you are sure they are accepting, you can try telling them again. If they react similarly, it means they need explanation on what is genderqueer, as parents tend to be afraid of what they do not know and got over-protective all of a sudden, even including the most accepting ones sometimes. I am sure a proper conversation would resolve the issue.

2 months ago · 0 notes

Anonymous asked: “Hi, I'm a 16 year old female. I'm going through a really hard time right now. I have no idea what I want. I'm attracted to boys but sometimes have fantasies about girls. There is this one girl that I feel like I have something for. She is just wonderful. I feel like she feels the same way sometimes. I can see myself both with a girl and a boy. Does this mean I'm bisexual? Should I talk to my close friend about me possible being bisexual. I hate keeping it up inside like it's a bad thing.”

Hello anon,

Sure it is ok, and you should not feel restricted by any label. There are different approaches to definition of bisexuality but my favourite one is “romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one sex or gender”. So if you feel comfortable with that and you feel it does define your sexuality than go with it. Do not forget your attractions do not have to be on the same level.

When it comes to coming out, it is a decision that is totally up to you. If you feel like you are hiding it and it bothers you, just tell it to your friend and if that person is your true friend, nothing shall differ for them, at the end you are the same person but just being honest and brave. 

Hope this helps.

4 months ago · 1 note

Anonymous asked: “I'm a 13 year old pansexual girl. everyone at school knows (but they see it as bi). my parents don't know and they would disown me if they did know. the problem is that I think I as born the wrong gender. I want to be a guy, but at the same time I don't. It would change everything and my parents would hate me. everyone at school would be freaked out. I'm not sure what to do.”

Hello anon,

Please, just please, do not rush on any labels, actually anything related to your sexuality and gender identity. I do not mean you cannot be both transgender and pansexual at the same time, which is surely possible, and yay in any case, but just do not rush to call it a name, as many do this mistake. If you do believe you were born with wrong gender, it is always better to talk to someone, just to clarify and see what can be done.

Here is meaning of transgender according to APA:

Transgender is an umbrella term for persons whose gender identity, gender expression or behavior does not conform to that typically associated with the sex to which they were assigned at birth. Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of being male, female or something else; gender expression refers to the way a person communicates gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, hairstyles, voice or body characteristics. “Trans” is sometimes used as shorthand for “transgender.” While transgender is generally a good term to use, not everyone whose appearance or behavior is gender-nonconforming will identify as a transgender person. The ways that transgender people are talked about in popular culture, academia and science are constantly changing, particularly as individuals’ awareness, knowledge and openness about transgender people and their experiences grow.

I will strongly suggest you to consult a local LGBTQ* organization where you can not only learn more and get rid of confusion, if any, but also meet with similar people like you and what they have experienced. After you make your mind, you can consider whether to share it with your parents or not, but remember that your safety comes first so please decide accordingly.

Hope this helps.

4 months ago · 2 notes

Question by anonymous

I feel so confused. I like girls, and I think Im a lesbian. Im okay with that, but then sometimes I convince myself I couldn’t possibly be gay. Not me. In my clearest moment gay feels like the right label, but its so easy to end up with muddled thoughts. I feel like while surrounded by heterosexual images in a world of heterosexual privileges Ive lost myself. I cant sort out what I feel from what Society wants me to feel. Can I still identify as bi if I’ve never dated girls before (I’m a girl) I’ve only ever had 2 boyfriends and i’m in a long term relationship with one right now, but I’ve been attracted to all genders since I was a kid. I feel like I’m not a “real” bisexual person since I’ve only been in heterosexual relationships before…

Hello anon,

We are indeed surrounded by heterosexual images, everywhere, even in a way it is seen normal, regardless how “far” it may go but it is unacceptable by some when it is same-sex, but the thing is, this is nor the first time neither the last one we see things happening that way. There will be people who will support equal rights for LGBTQ* individuals while other will find an excuse to be against it, and all we must do is to continue fighting and changing it. Just do not let anyone to tell you how you should feel or do not let it affect you.

When it comes to labels, again go with the label you feel most comfortable with. There is no “real” + label phrase, you first should understand. It is about how you feel and who you are attracted to, not your previous relationships. If you are attracted to all, then yay bisexual, if you can say you do not even see genders, then yay pansexual. There is no experience requirement to satisfy before choosing a label to identify your sexuality/sexual orientation. And the answer to your question, obviously, is yes.

Hope this helps.

5 months ago · 5 notes